The key to repairing and strengthening any relationship is to improve your listening. If you really want to work things out with your partner, you need to learn why he or she wants to leave you. The only way to learn is to listen. Listening requires more than just your ears – it requires your mind and attention. Giving your partner your time and attention is essential if you want to repair a failing relationship.
So, how can you improve your listening skills? Moreover, how can you get your partner to realize that your listening skills are improving?

Here are some tips to help you get started.

• Eliminate all distractions. What usually distracts you when your partner is trying to tell you something? Whether it’s the TV, your cell phone, radio, iPod, etc, you need to turn it off. Even if you’d rather hear anything but your partner yelling at you, you still need improve your listening skills if you want your relationship to be repaired.

• Listen carefully and respectfully. No matter how aggravated or upset you might be, don’t interrupt your partner. Let him or her talk and don’t try to interpret anything for the time being. Listen with an open mind and when it’s your turn to speak, do so civilly and calmly.

• You can improve your listening skills by not jumping to conclusions. No matter how tempted you might be to make a judgment and lash out, DON’T! Ignore your defense reflexes, as you might miss the speaker’s points. Try thinking about things from his or her point of view. Consider why your partner feels the way he or she does before arguing back.

• Another way to improve your listening is to give the speaker your undivided attention. Don’t allow your attention to drift Maintain eye contact for the duration of your partner’s speech. Try your best not to let your mind wonder. If your partner starts repeating him/herself, politely point it out.

• Whenever the speaker pauses, summarize the things he or she just said. Make thoughtful comments whenever you get a chance to speak. As you improve your listening, you’ll be able to respond more intelligently and effectively during conversations.

• Determine what your partner needs and respond accordingly. Does he or she require you to affirm something? Does your partner want advice? Are you supposed to respond to the speaker with a resolution to a problem? Developing better listening skills will enable you to provide your partner with intelligent and thoughtful responses.

• Whenever you are unable to determine what the speaker wants, ask questions. Asking questions is a great way to improve your listening ability. Sometimes what you think you hear and what the speaker actually means are two different things. Clarification is extremely important, so don’t be afraid to ask for clarification if you and your partner aren’t on the same page.

Follow these tips and you will be surprised at how great of a listener you can be! Many couples don’t understand the importance of communication until things are too late. By taking the time to improve your listening, you’ll be proving to your partner that you are genuinely interested in saving the relationship.

Find out more about Learn to Get Your Wife to Love You Again and read about My Wife Wants a Divorce.