July 20th, 2010
So, your wife wants to leave, huh? Marriages go through turmoil all the time, so just know that you’re not alone. Many spouses go through what you are going through. Some of them eventually part ways and some manage to work things out. If you want to work things out, you need to take a deep breath and try to stay calm. Just because your wife wants to leave right now, doesn’t mean she actually will. However, you’re going to have to play your part in repairing the relationship.
It’s important to think of things from her point of view. Why does she want to leave? Is she just trying to get your attention, or does she genuinely seem unhappy? Does your wife want to leave you for good, or does she just need a bit of space? Think about these questions, but don’t outright confront her with them. If your wife wants to leave for good, don’t overreact. This is not the time for accusations. It’s the time for understanding.
While you certainly deserve an explanation, you don’t want to pester her. Approach her as someone who is truly concerned about your marriage. Let her know that you are prepared to work with her to save the marriage. Think back to when you first married. What has since changed? Your wife wants to leave because something isn’t what it used to be. How can you bring that missing element back into your marriage?
Even if you do manage to get her to stay for the time being, what about for the long-term? You don’t want to get her to stay momentarily, only to deal with this very same scenario a few months from now. Thus, if your wife wants to leave, both of you must work toward a permanent and common goal. You must choose your tactics carefully – even if she agrees this time, she might not let you change her mind again.
So, how can you approach her and let her know that you want things to be as they once were? How can you get her to believe you? You know that old saying “actions speak louder than words?” This is a true statement in regards to marriage. SHOW her you want to be the man she fell in love with. If your wife wants to leave, let her know how important she is to you by being understanding, loving, kind, and supportive.
If she wants to leave because she thinks she’ll be better off without you, start doing the things that make her happy. Make her feel better about herself so that she’ll want to stay. In order to do this, though, you’ll need to feel better about YOURSELF. Thus, you should always maintain a good appearance when your wife wants to leave. Let her see that you are still the handsome man she first fell in love with. If you are confident in yourself, SHE will be confident in you.
You should also learn how to listen. Rather than argue, take note of everything she says. Summarize everything she says to you when you reply to her. Ask her, “what would you have me do?” Don’t argue with her. Don’t make any empty promises. If your wife wants to leave, determine why, and make the changes in your marriage accordingly. You may also find online guides and ebooks to be helpful. There are many tips available by men who have been in your situation, and who genuinely want to help you out if your wife wants to leave.